Being a parent can be exhausting.
At the end of another long and exhausting day, it can be hard to find time for yourself, let alone time to keep you and someone else happy, leading many to wonder how they can keep a strong and happy relationship going through the veil of parenting.
Having children doesn’t mean that your affections have to be split, and sometimes, a little thoughtful consideration and love is all it takes to keep your relationship burning strong.
Though the idea of holding on to that passion that you once held for one another may seem like a distant dream now, keeping the spark alive after your little arrive is well within your reach.
How to Keep the Relationship Alive After Having Kids
Set A Date – As parents, one of your most stretch resources is likely to quickly become time.
Between taking care of your littles, keeping up with the demands of your careers, and managing a household full of chaos, find a little time alone may quickly become little more than a dream.
If you’re looking to keep that romantic flame burning, however, you’ll have to make time, and sometimes that means breaking out the schedule and penciling in a little us time for the both of you.
Hire a babysitter, take a night off, and actually get out and do the two of you again, and set up a regular weekly or monthly time to step out for the evening.
Little Tip: If you’re worried that scheduling things out might ruin the spontaneity, take turns planning out surprise nights and taking care of all of the prep so that your partner doesn’t know.
Can You Hear Me Now – While communication is key in any relationship, after the arrival of your little ones it becomes an absolute essential.
It’s important to take the time to sit down and make sure that you’re on the same page on everything from the day to day decisions to major milestones in your families development.
Never take it for granted that you understand what your partner is thinking or feeling, and when one of you speaks up, the other will need to listen.
This can help you to stay close and connected, even when things are frantic and hectic, you got 3 hours of sleep the night before, and you have both a baby and a toddler throwing joint tantrums.
Little Tip: When you’re talking, try not to bicker with or interrupt your partner. Both sides need to listen carefully and wait while the other explains their perspective. Quibbling over the minute details that are a part of the problem, but not the issue in its entirety is neither helpful nor healthy for your relationship.
Get Out Of Here – Sometimes you feel the urge to take a little vacay and get in some time to relax, but if you’re struggling to find an evening to take a date night on, finding a few days to slip away can seem all but impossible.
Besides, once you do make the time, the idea of an 8-hour car trip or plane ride with a screaming toddler is, for most parents, extremely unappealing.
Sometimes though, a little getaway can be exactly what you need to find a little us time and rekindle that flame.
Choose your destination carefully, and find a place where you can be little one free for a few hours, like making a visit to some far off family that would be more than happy to look after your littles, or a resort style stay with built in daycare to keep an eye on things while you’re relaxing.
Little Tip: If you’ve got particularly young littles and a close family member who can watch them for a few days, your best bet may be to spend a few days apart. While the separation may be hard, the time off that it gives you will help you both unwind and reconnect, and can give you the opportunity to do things that you wouldn’t be able to with a toddler wrapped around your leg.
Spoiled Rotten – For many parents, the urge to spoil their littles with their favorite meals, activities, and toys is a tough one to overcome, and there’s not much that will make you happy quite like seeing their smiles.
Just as important as their smiles though, is that of your partner, and sometimes it’s important to turn that love back on to them.
This doesn’t always mean gigantic gestures that would feel over the top in even the cheesiest of romcoms, it can mean simple things like making their favorite meal from time to time or making a little time to go out and do something that they love.
Both you and your partner need to keep in mind that while your brand new babies might have your focus now, it’s still important to give the same thoughtfulness you give them to each other every now and then.
Little Tip: The point of spoiling your partner isn’t just about the gifts you get them or the things that you do with them, it’s about showing them that they are important to you, and are still more than just an afterthought in your mind. If you want to keep the flame in your relationship burning, you’ll need to take a moment to step back and think of each other just as much as you think of your littles, or you may find that while they were growing, you were growing further apart.