As you transition from one stage of your life to the next, you may find that there are some vestiges of the old that will need to be left in the dust to allow you and your family the time and space you need to grow.
Becoming a parent can be the catalyst that realigns all of your previously held priorities, and as you find less and less common ground with those who you once called friends, you may find yourself afloat in a sea of uncertainty.
If you’re feeling as though the spark you once shared with your current friends has faded as you’ve grown, it may be time to take a step back from the relationships you once held so dear.
Here’s How to Know When It’s Time to Find New Mom Friends
All Of The Lights – Whether it was the bright lights of the pubs and clubs that bound you together when you were younger, or the draw of a night in with some close friends, being a mom often means focusing your attention away from the things that you once enjoyed, and onto the ones you now love. If you’ve found that your weekend focus has changed from hanging with your friends to hanging with your little one, it may be time to find some new friends whose priorities are closer to what you now enjoy.
Little Tip: It may be difficult to drift away from the places and activities that once brought you so close to your friends, but finding new, family-oriented activities is a great way to start meeting a new crew.
Can I Get A Hand – When you’re strapped for time as moms so often are, sometimes all you need is a helping hand or a little advice, but when your lives have become so different, the expertise and help you need may be far removed from what your current friends can offer.
Little Tip: Your sudden change in needs and interests may be just as frustrating to them as it is to you, which can, in turn, cause other frictions in your relationships.
With Friends Like These – Sometimes, among friends, jokes can go a little too far, however, it’s usually easy to wash the burns away with a little fun and camaraderie. As you become a mom, however, the gulf of misunderstanding between friends can grow, and it’s easy to quickly become the odd one out. As you become the target of jokes and sarcasm, the rift between you and your friends can widen due to a lack of shared experiences, making the pain of a hard to handle joke even harder to shake off.
Little Tip: While this may seem like cruelty on their part, more often than not it’s merely a measure of miscommunication due to misunderstanding. Nonetheless, even when callousness is not intended, it may be time to seek out other friends who know what you’re going through and can be a little more sensitive to your experiences.
Pity Party – Whether it’s bruised egos from romantic follies or work woes that are bringing them down, as your life comes together with your new family, it’s sometimes difficult to watch your friends’ lives drift in a different direction. This is another symptom of drifting, but it’s easy for this to lead to a situation in which one person is looking down on the other with pity, rather than as an equal and friend, making it progressively more difficult for both sides to see eye to eye.
Little Tip: If you love your friends, but just don’t like their behavior, don’t fret. Just because you’re falling further apart now doesn’t mean that your lives are forever doomed to drift away. As time goes on and they begin families and relationships of their own, you may see your lives re-aligning, restoring the bond that you once shared.